Samuel {3 months}

How did 3 months go by already.  You are growing...growing...growing.  So fast!  I am trying to capture everything but some days I just run out of time.  Here are some sweet pictures I took of you this month.

It was hard to keep the blocks set up and straight.  Your arms were flapping up and down like you were trying to fly.

You are such a vocal baby.  You talk and coo and giggle all the time...and give me the biggest toothless grins too.  I am totally in love with you.  Matthew is trying to read books to you and is quite good at it. When you are laying on your tummy it already seems like you are ready to take off crawling.  But it would be great if you could hold off for another couple of months.  It is nice that you are not mobile for now.  Right now you spend a lot of  your awake hours on your play mat.  Matthew brings you toys and shows you how to play with them.  Sometimes he just takes them too.  {I imagine it is hard to be the older brother...watching the baby getting all of his toys.}

We are hoping you will start sleeping all night again.  Mom and Dad are growing ever weary.  But it is hard to get upset when you flash us a big slobbery smile in the middle of the night.

Just like Matthew, you of course love your bumbo seat and love to play in it too.  Matthew tries to get into it too.  He does not fit like he used to.

I think your eyes get a little bluer every day.

You are such an awesome baby!

Love, Mommy

caught red handed

Ahhh the days of toddler mischief.

Date of crime: Friday, February 10, 2012
Scene of crime: Kitchen
Offender: Matthew Oliver


I got up from nursing Samuel, walked into the kitchen and found to my surprise, a toddler covered in chocolate.

Evidently, Matthew had been rummaging through the pantry.  So of course I had to run and get the camera.

Yum! Our favorite treat.

How much more can I get in my mouth before Mom takes this away from me.  

Finger lickin' good!

Don't waste any.

I'm so proud of myself.

The good news is that this mess was contained to the kitchen counter.  I consider myself very lucky.  The bad news is, the reason I got up to go to the kitchen is because Samuel, the 3 month old, just had a blow out on me.  This mess was unfortunatley not contained in the diaper.

Good times!!!

For Samuel

RSV has struck again.  The first was when your brother was 5 months old. The second was when you were 2 months old.  We spent your first New Year's Eve and New Year's Day in Hillcrest hospital together.  Just you and me.  I wrote this letter to you while we were there and thought it fitting to blog it.  A great memory though the circumstances were not that good.

Samuel,

It's New Year's Eve and you are sound asleep. We are at Hillcrest hospital.  You are sick with a UTI and RSV.  So I am here ringing in the new year with you.  Just you and me.  We don't get moments like this very often and I am enjoying you so much.  We are trusting the Lord to heal your little body, and are praying for good health in 2012. You have brought such joy to our lives and we adore you.  Happy New Year my sweet Samuel.  

                                                                                                           Love Mommy

It was late and I was really exhausted but I just could not put you down.  We watched the ball drop together.  This was the first New Year's Eve that I spent without your dad in about 15 years. 

 

 

Living tired

I have started to meet with a group of ladies to read books and share thoughts on life.  I guess you could call it a book club but in my attempts to keep believing that I am young I prefer not to.  We have started a book called One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp.

To start, I am not a reader.  I have tried for years to become one, but have finally conceded to the fact that I will never be book savvy.  So in saying that, this is a stretch for me...reading.  And trying to complete what I have started.  I am a notorious project starter.

But this book is stirring in me all kinds of thoughts.  I find myself wanting to read it all the time.  This week after dropping Matthew at Mother's Day Out I wandered over to Starbucks with book in hand and baby in tow.  I ordered my usual, cinnamon dulce latte, and sat down to escape into all thoughts grown up.

The book is about finding joys in daily life and accepting that what He gives is enough.

As I was reading, this cold Tuesday morning, I realized I was holding my breath...tensed...stressed.  She writes,

I wake to the discontent of life in my skin.  I wake to self-hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing.  I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets.  I live tired. Afraid. Anxious.  Weary.  Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough?

I can really identify with these words.  Simple words written on a page but have so much meaning to me.  I live tired.  I find myself longing for children's nap times.  Longing for Patrick to be home so I can have a break.  Longing for a time where I don't have to do anything and take care of anyone.

I have forgotten the joys of my children.  To enjoy  the small wonders that they discover everyday.  I would rather be doing nothing.  I am  consumed with keeping the house clean, fighting over a two year olds eating habits and changing dirty diapers.

But as I read I can feel my shoulders relax and my breathing change.  (A good feeling I might add.)   I have had a light bulb moment.

I will never be enough.

I don't have to be enough.

He is enough in me.

But this morning, I wake wildly wanting to live.  Physically feeling it in the veins trembling, the hard pant of the lungs, the seeing it in the steady stars, how much I really want really live.  How I don't want to die,  Is that the message of nightmares and dreams? To live either fully alive...or in empty nothingness.

The sun climbs the horizon.  I throw back the covers, take another breath, and begin.  I get to. I get to live.  

The question she asks is will we live fully.  So often we become so focused on self that we can't see God's blessing.  When we live like this for a prolonged period of time we develop bad habits.  It becomes easier to not recognize God's blessing the longer we are focused only on ourselves.

What I need is a reprogramming of sorts...a reboot...new batteries.  

So now that I have identified the problem I can fix it right?  Just start noticing how God is blessing me...the gifts he has given.  Much easier said than done.

Change takes time.

Change takes time.

Change takes time.

I must give myself time to overcome these bad habits...this complaining of life that  has become second nature.  But I must take it one day at a time...one minute at a time.  Rediscover God's joy.

In rediscovering God's joy I can really learn to live fully.

I choose to live.

I choose Life.

Isn't he gorgeous!!!

Stitched In Blue Birth Announcement

Find 100's of cute birth announcements at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

"Mama and the Beast"

My favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast and up until Christmas 2011 it was the only kid movie that we owned. That being said, it is the first movie that Matthew watched.  After seeing it a couple of times he started calling it mama and the beast. He would look at the TV and then at me and grin. When Belle came on the screen he would say mama and smile and laugh. I would never have considered myself to resemble a Disney princess but my Matthew saw something that I didn't. He is such a sweet little boy.

We were thrilled when we found out that Beauty and the Beast was coming back to the theater.  Matthew had never been to the movies so we thought it would be fun for this to be his first. We got him a kid pack with popcorn, m&m's and lemonade. It was also fun to watch him try popcorn for the first time.  I'll never forget the dislike on his face and the shutter through his body when he tried it. 

What a fun first!

Wednesday, January 17, 2012

Here is Matthew shoving m&m's into his mouth.

How do I start a blog?

I have contemplated starting a blog for some time now but...


Where do I start?
What do I say?
Who will care?


I find myself wanting to remember all of the precious moments I get to spend with you...wanting to capture the thoughts of a busy mom...wanting to take time to put into writing all of God's blessings.


Now two and a half years of your life has passed and sweet Samuel has joined our family. I am finally sitting down to reflect.  Each day it seems as though I learn something new... the way you find joy in such small moments of your day.  

You are teaching me to love simply.  

So I hope I can capture in this blog so many memories that have passed and the many more that are to come.  I hope the two of you will read this someday and know the love a mother has for her boys.  I hope it will help you remember...






Your first blogged picture...

THE CHRISTMAS CARD 2011

This is a picture I took of you and Samuel before Christmas.  I was trying to get a picture of the two of you for our Christmas card.  It did not turn out to be the one but it is a favorite of mine. I enjoy seeing you delight in your brother.  I imagine that this is what God's face looks like when he is delighting in us.  

This is the picture I used for our Christmas card.  You are both such beauties!!! 

So, I guess this is what blogging is...getting to ramble and tell stories about my boys and my life.  This could be fun.  I hope I can keep up with the two of you.